8 RULES TO BOOTY CALLS

It sometime after 12PM, the champagne, or the wine, more than likely the liquor, has you in a state of euphoria- more commonly known as the matrix. Rather than go home, unless you have someone to go home to of course, you'd rather take a crack at scoring. (no need to check definitions for this one, more politely put: have sex). "With who?" might be the first thing you ask yourself. Now if youre something like a player than you probably have a wealth of options, but for the more subtle of conquerors tact is vital. In time of need, have no fear, there is a list, a strategy if you will; a how-to when dealing with the age old....BOOTY CALL.

Move aside Tommy Davidson and Jamie Foxx, Basquiats Mind is taking over:


1. TEXT DONT CALL

Rejection is never a good thing, but hey worse come to worse its a little gentler to read than to hear. Also, you never know what the other party may be doing at the time; a text seems so much more accomodating in such a situation. Straightforward yet not overbearing works during "working hours" as we used to call it. Take it from me, would I steer you wrong with such a matter.

2. WHEN IN DOUBT BE CLEVER NOT CRASS

In this case, a compliment or two, some mood setting. Everybody loves to feel wanted. Yes ladies, that is not only a female thing. If you didnt know that already- step your game up amongst other things. Being crass will serve as the perverbial shot in the foot. No need to play yourself out of before you even get in the position. Understand?


3. BE BUZZED, NOT BLOTTO

Or wasted.com as some people call it. A good buzz is acceptable, and even adds to the fun and fire. Dont extinguish yourself by being too drunk to function. Not a good look.

4. CHOOSE A DESIGNATED DIALER

This is crucial right here ladies and gentlemen. You do not want to kill the mood, by calling the wrong person, namely that ex who is still salty over things and will totally chew your ear off at any give moment, essentially killing your vibe. BE MINDFUL is all I can say. Worst case scenario have a confidant alongside who will connect the two of you (potential partner) by simply dialing the right number when you cannot.

5. TRY TAKE_OUT BOOTY

Simply put: getting someone to drop what their doing, to come "DO" you is a great accomplishment. Try it and see


6. BE THOUGHTFUL WITH YOUR CALLS

Choosing the right person to satiate your mood and objective is paramount. The wrong person could cause you some self respect. Be realistic in your explanation. If its been too long, thats long enough for you to know that your chances are olive oil, in other words slim.

7. ENGAGE IN BOOTY NOT BRUNCH

If you happen to fulfill the quota, and the episodes takes you to daylight, remember this is a booty call, not a social one. DO NOT WEAR OUT YOUR WELCOME.


And there you have it, the Booty call manual. Stay loopy my friends.