Black Cloud

What do u do when you really cant say how you feel, when the walls seem as though they are beginning to close in and the breaths you are taking become shorter and shorter.  If I had to summarize 2010 thats how I would say it has made me feel.  I went to sleep with a heavy heart knowing that a friend of mine was fighting for his life; at that very moment that question "what is it about, whats life about" seemed unanswerable. This past weekend I celebrated the coming addition of a new member to the family, and the essence of unity and love;when it comes to the so many of us have done so many things but one thing we have always done is stayed together. May not have always wanted to but we did.For quite sometime its like Ive been living 3 lives, and not in the classic adulterer sense, although i must admit Ive been guilty of that (just being honest) but in the sense that Ive lived for others whom I believed their experience was vicarious- as I go so do they.  It pains me to have to add another person to the list.  It was often said to me, "one of us has to make it" and its true guess thats why i am so quick to congratulate the next person that i see doing things the way they should be done. In my heart i know a change will come soon, but for right now my eyes and ears cannot get passed this black cloud.

Where for art thou 2011

The overwhelming consensus is that 2010 has been a tough year. On the personal note I definitely can agree, and from an objective standpoint- the facts have spoken for themselves. Nothing seems to have gotten better this year. Everytime i look out my window, it seems worst, and when i ask for confirmation- everyone confirms. More so than any other year I think everyones immunity to pain has been heightened. Kind of feels like 1999 where as the new year approached, anxiety mounted. I for one am more than ready for the calendar page to turn. I was asked recently about New Years resolutions. Its rare that I am at a loss for words, but i could not do any better than be honest. In the coming year i see fit to improve my ability to hold myself accountable as well as do better with accepting and overcoming obstacles; in addition, I will allow others to be themselves and focus on ME- for lack of a better term. There seems to be some HOPE on the horizon, I'll try optimism for now- Lord knows its about time my # gets called.

Watch and Learn....

The execution of the phrase "some things are better left unsaid"
It is not always the job of the enlightener to give it to you in the manner in which it is easiest for you to digest; However, the information will be at your disposal and attainable provided you embrace it.

When Life Happens......

FACT IS: somemetimes you find yourself being the instrument;

Instrument by definition is "A means by which something is done; an agency (freedictionary.com). I have to take a pause on that and accept the fact that its possible to not know the true meaning of something as mundane as the term instrument. As I come out of this pause, I gather and organize the thoughts in my head which are perpetuated by that statement.

Looking back at it all, there are many points in my life where I feel like I was an instrument. I have been a pivotal element in many things (by no means is this to toot my own horn) be it relationships, sports, parenting, so on and so forth. I've lost companions because I did not take the time to be as supportive as I could be, as honest as I could be; as valuable as I could be. In parenting, I've had to learn on fly. unfortunate as it may seem its true. Incorporating some elements learned from my mom, while imagining what a father could and should do.

It took for some grave things to happen in my life time for me to be confronted with the importance of "knowing my worth" I find myself overwhelmed now, or should I say consumed with the task. I hear so often, " I wont settle for less, or Im not taking no shorts" What does that actually mean? See I feel as though the people whom have uttered it only tip the iceberg with their doctrines, forgetting to delve deeper. So many people consider settling for less as a challenge to others rather than a challenge to themself. To truly not settle for less or not take any shorts you must start from within. I believe that every person gets what their hand calls for. To me hardwork will bring all that I am truly destine to have.

I carry that with me daily, hourly, and at all other times that you can think of. Its self-preservation; its self-inventory; its self-respect. Congruently its respect for others. My acceptance of my self-worth has forced me to evaluate the worth of others, and where i find it necessary- bridge any and all gaps. This is not a tall order to me, "difficult takes a day, impossible takes weeks."

Winnie

Based on the relationship of Winnie and Nelson Mandela, starring Jennifer Hudson and Terrance Howard

To Whom Much is Given.....

Much is expected. But to say all have gotten the message would be an overstatement. It is clearly evident in so many aspects that ultimate cost of albeit success, your 15 minutes or what have you is not fully understood by so many. "When Success takes a shot, what are you gonna do?" (American Gangster)
Ive never been a fan of the would have or could haves so it is rare that I speak hypothetically when it comes to some situations. I am a proponent of the reality that you cannot truly know what a circumstance will perpetuate unless you are in said situation.

My initial reaction to Kanye West's rant was that of disappointment, but in the manner that I felt like he did not represent himself to the utmost which I have come accustomed to. I read in Essence Magazine, that Black Leadership is dead, and to sum it all up, it is dead because representation is gone. The voice is null and void. Kanye West's fulfillment of that void is what has drawn me to his creativity. However outlandish it can be at times, I find solace in the sincerity; the ability to be genuine and outspoken. I applaud Kanye's ability to say what has been on our hearts for so long. To stand up to so called powers that be. I only wish that Kanye's normal articulation reigned supreme. We all experience writers block, apprehension, and many other obstacles; and is this day and time where branding is paramount and you are always two seconds away from being black balled, an extra momentof contemplation is imperative.

That is what I saw in that moment of time, a man who was conscious of the aftermath which accompanies his every move. I have subscribed to the notion that it is a waste to constantly seek acceptance from outsiders. In so many instances as they be it, you are of it, and that is a tough scale to balance. Recently Uncle Russell released an open letter to Kanye reminding him of the fact that WE always have EACH OTHER's back:



Dear Kanye,

I have early recollections of Damon Dash calling me and forcing me to put you on Def Poetry Jam. I knew your record, “Through The Wire,” but I didn’t know much more. When you took the stage on Def Poetry Jam that night, and spit those genuine, heartfelt words, I witnessed your specialness that Damon had emphatically told me about.

From that moment on, you became a poet who has inspired the poets. I have proudly watched your career since then, and in case someone has missed the obvious, you are making a historical impact on music. Your life story took a tough turn with the passing of your mother. Although we grieved with you, we never really knew how much pain you were in. We witnessed your moment at the MTV Music Awards and many of us dismissed it as, “oh that is just Kanye being Kanye.” The hard part of all of this, is that we have all had moments in our lives that have been challenging, painful and hard to overcome, however most of us just hide our emotions and never deal with that inner-struggle that we face on a daily basis. As an artist, Kanye, you have always looked inside for your inspiration…always exuding emotions that are in us, but that we never expose. That is what artistry is about…to look inside for what is unique. With your journey towards a higher level of consciousness, a journey that we all are on, you have shown through your art a commitment to greatness.

The thirty minute film you most recently made was beyond brilliant. Brilliance is not a word that can even begin to describe your ability to paint vibrant, vivacious, colorful yet muted paintings of poetry, music, costume, art, design and most important, passion. The passion you put into your new album is why I stayed up all those nights in the early 80’s trying to get DJs and radio stations to play our records. I knew this day would come. Actually, maybe I didn’t know, but I really, really hoped it would. I didn’t work this hard when I was your age to watch the culture go the wrong way. And you, my friend, just took us to another level. I am simply in awe.

With this power, as you know, comes great responsibility. I am saying nothing you haven’t heard before. When you spoke about President Bush during the Katrina telethon, it was not the particulars of your words that mattered, it was the essence of a feeling of the insensitivity towards our communities that many of us have felt for far too long. It was the image of the President, our President, the President of the United States Of America, peering out the window of an airplane, as the people on the ground were drowning, that hurt us the most. For centuries, our people have relentlessly tread water as hard as they could to stay afloat, and here we were, literally drowning, and it felt like the President was insensitive. There is no need to apologize, Kanye. You spoke from your heart and that is all we will ever ask from you. Don’t be afraid of the press, as your art is your blueprint, thanks to Jay-Z, your big brother, we will always carry our destiny in our own hands. You are are an artist whose art is masterful. You are a servant to this world who no matter how hard it gets, keeps on giving. Giving gifts that inspire us, challenge us and motivate us to be better family and friends.

Keep on, Kanye. Keep on. We love you. We cherish you. And we will always have your back.

Have you submitted to such unity? Are you compelled and ready to embrace your own even when others prefer that you should not?

WITH IT or NOT

I was scrolling around the net and hit up when my fav sites which I am not too proud to give some free promo (blogxilla.com) and ran across a very good topic which just so happens to be one of the most controversial ones to date. In this day and time where partying like a rock star has seemingly superceeded everything except getting some rest so you can do it all again the next night. Where Lady Day is no longer such, because the ladies of the night whom are preyed upon on prey on the guys of the night. Sorry Miss Billy Holiday but fact is fact.

FACT: Everyone has either A) Had or B) knows someone whom has had (drum roll please) SEX ON THE FIRST DATE. I have yet to meet someone who appreciates being confronted about their participation in this new age cult-like behavior. But here's some of the reasons that I came across which serve to justify such deeds:


1.On your birthday –

2.You’re out of town

3.The person you slept with is from a different state

4.You just broke up

5.You were drunk

6.You’ve been chatting online for a long time

7.When you knew the person in a different season of your life and you randomly reunite.

8.When you’re in college

9.If you’re feeling them

10.Because you like their car

SMH....dare I say so true? Where there is a will, there is truly a way and when you map it out like this I guess you can see why it is so hard for some to resist. Now by all accounts I support responsibility and good choices, but when the champagne is bubbling and every seems to be in their own world, whats a person to do when they want to bring someone into theres...even if it is the first night.

Does anyone disagree?

A Man's Dream....

Or fantasy for that matter. We wake up to 'em, go to sleep with 'em and get caught by our significant others as that certain female passes us both and we make the unholy mistake of glancing over our shoulder as she passed, thinking the misses didnt see us. Has anyone of you guys ever successfully accomplished doing so without that all too common scowl when we focus back up? Nah I dont think you have, adn the guys that will answer this with a yes would be happy to know that she ALWAYS sees. Its her job! Have you not realized that yet? Well Ive got something here that you wont have to sneak and look @...Introducing Miss Laura Dore. Oh yeah and by the way what a mix- Black and Italian. Its like the Santa Anna festival in Hoboken coming to the hood- ENJOY.

EPIPHANY GIRL

Chrisette Michelle- One of my absolute favorite artist and top 5 beautiful women in music, has a mixtape out- LOVE THY BROTHER..check out a couple of cuts:

Essence Movie of the Year

December 2010 Edition

SHE is....

SEXY
VIBRANT
RADIATING
OVERWHELMING
BREAT-TAKING
ADDICTIVE

What happened to the good old days when a woman's ultimate objective was to be all of these things. When every strut accompanied a killer attitude that, " I am Woman hear me roar!" By no means am I here to criticize, rather to inspire. To let the women of the world, Queens of the earth, breeder of all- especially our(men's) FIRE. Where are you Cleopatra, Isis, all of the above. Seems like you have been replaced by the entitled, the under-achieving, un-ambitious, the un-SEXY.

With that being the case, I am here to CONGRATULATE and SUPPORT the redemptive efforts of all women who ooze sex appeal, who want to be desired.

Why Not Live in the Moment

They say you dont miss something until its gone, and let me tell you I'd be the first one to testify to that fact. Is it not amazing that as people we have to wait until the extreme happens for awareness to be top priority? Ive had so many things in my life that I have taken for granted foolishly, unknowingly, and downright negligently. I guess you can say I think about things like that from time to time. Ive been overwhelmed recently by the desire to really learn from my mistakes and not just say that I have. Whats' the use of experiencing things if you are not letting them teach you. Well today I stand tall on the notion of being a pupil- to LIFE.

Better to appreciate and make the most of what is in front of me then to wait till the moment has passed and I am left with regret or a sideline view of the one I wanted be wanted by or wanting someone else.

She Likes......

All the things she sees and for some reason she just can't grab a hold of the truth that life has much more to offer than the tangible. The term "Materialistic" has nothing on her. Seemingly every other word out her mouth is money and one day she had the nerve to play Diamonds "Lotta Money" to me. Was that a hint? Silly me for not catching on. But what am I to do now? "I wish we never loved it"
And now she's got her hooks into me in a way in which I wouldve never belleved. "And I'm sittin here going half crazy, cause I know she still thinks about me too". And somewhere deep behind the facade I truly believe that the word Love is not accented with a dollar sign to her.

Momma told me there would be days like this, guess I should have took heed huh. But right about now I can't seem to echo Carl Thomas' I wish. There has to be a cure for this. Where's the Diddy in "you don't have to call" support when you need it? Smh....

For the Love of Art....

And all that it signifies, the expression of oneself, be it thoughts, emotions, and more; "Runaway" epitomizes exactly that:





When first premiered it was taken with a grain of salt cnsidering the red tape and controversy surrounding this yeras VMAs, the original video served as a recap of Kanye and Pusha T's performance; much to my enjoyment, and yours as well I presume- the second installment has heightened the residual affects of the song. "Runaway" have we not all wished we could at one point or another? If you haven't, then you probably haven't surpassed the pubescent phases of this thing called LIFE. To love is to experience so much, especially the emmotion of second guessing when the clouds begin to appear.

How many times have you loved someone to the point that you wished you could have conveyed Kanye's sentiments to them? I heard once that we hurt the ones we truly LOVE, the most; according to my track record- that adage must be true! Runaway from me baby, take back everything that you have given me but whatever you do, leave my heart.

Everything you can ask for.....

Is my new cliche, potentially replacing "what my hand calls for". What does it actually mean to have everything you can ask for.  In life so many requests are made that it is difficult to keep tabs on the correlation between what you have and what you wanted.Where does the idea of "blessings" fit into this? Those can be things that we do not concsciously ask for, but are imperative to our existence.  I am sure I can speak for more than myself when stating this. Does anyone disagree? When broken down some more, I tend to remember that: Hardwork conquers and sets the stage for all, does it not?  Is it appropriate to ask for anything that you do not work hard for?  If that's the case, then in essence we all can say we have everything we ask for- those being things that we actually deserve cause we have set the table with effort.  . That effort which was efficient enough to perpetuate the execution of your intentions
When disappointed, do you evaluate your performance? Often times when faced with the task of listening which does not come as second nature to all, by listening I mean to people.  I value my good ear to say the least; when asked "why" on most things I reply with, "what did your hand call for" Harsh but true.  . Something that I have to remind myself of at times when things seem rough.I have reached a point when I have put my expectations in perspective.  
I can truly say that I have all that I asked for which is exactly the hand I was dealt

Branding....

Is what it is all about, Denzel Washington playing Frank Lucas in American gangster said it best, "branding its about branding...I stand by it, I guarantee it...." When I think about that I think about the job of Will and Jada Pinkett Smith have done branding not only themselves but their children as well in the family business....Starting with Will and son Jaden Smith co-starring in Pursuit of Happiness, onto Jaden's big role as the Karate Kid (produced by Will Smith): and now we have daughter Willows foray into the music business with her new single "Whip My Hair" (see video below)



Far too often you find fame as the foundation for seperation of too many once close-knit groups/ entities; probably becoming the perpetuation of the cliche- "All good things come to an end" We experience it everyday, wishing that it were not so. But at present time the Smith's have become the ones to keep up wit, no longer the Jones'. Admiration is an understatement; respect a must. I can only take notes and remember that if and when i reach my zenith, that it is imperative of me to brand, and be conscious of the importance of passing on- especially to following generations.

Paying it forward as they say comes in handy when you remember the laws of nature that say everything comes full circle. The earth is round, according to columbus and every other expert on the topic, therefore what goes around comes around, eventually.

recently little miss Willow Smith signed with Roc Nation, adding some more dollar signs to the family bank. Check out what CEO Jay Z:

“We at Roc Nation are excited to work with Willow,” said Jay in a statement. “She has an energy and enthusiasm about her music that is truly infectious. It’s rare to find an artist with such innate talent and creativity at such a young age. Willow is about to embark on an incredible journey and we look forward to joining her as she grows in all aspects of her career.”(courtesy of rap-up.com)

I tend to agree, as you can declare from the music. energetic, lively, and positive...Feel Good Music is back, and we have Willow Smith to thank.
And for our latest lesson in the importance of BRANDING, thank Will and Jada Pinkett Smith...

When all else fails, think forward and you will get to where you intend to be!